.:Toe's corner:.

[Toe]

*clears throat*

So here it is. It's official. Toe's corner for her... art. It's mostly literature, although I do enjoy taking pictures of adorable animals and other things that interest me...

So, I'll start of with my most recent piece, and if you like it and don't feel like waiting for more, check me out on deviantART XD tvfanatic911.deviantart.com/

Here goes:

HAMWYMAC
Heroes Are Made When You Make A Choice
Inspired by 'Hero' by Superchick


There's a girl. You don't usually notice her.
There's a boy. You always make fun of him.

But aren't they both worth the time? Aren't they both worth the effort to get to know, before you judge? One day, you awake, you get dressed, put on your makeup, make sure everything is just so, and you head to school. You get onto the bus and loudly complain that there are no empty seats, just as you pass her. She's sitting alone and no one's next to her. There's an empty seat right there. She doesn't bother looking up, she used to, but there's no point anymore. If you were to look carefully, or look at all and see her, not through her, you'd see a girl that just wants to be loved. A girl that's pretty in her own way, but you don't look. You never do, and maybe you never will. Like always, she's doing something in a sketchpad. Today, she's drawing. No one bothers looking at what it might be, few even realize she's there.

You get to school and get off with your boyfriend, laughing with him and making him work hard for his social position of being your boyfriend. What an honor, what a great position for him to be in. You nudge him as a boy walks by and without even looking at you, he knows what you want. He sticks out his legs and trips the boy, laughing as he falls and once again breaks his glasses. You laugh with your boyfriend, and everyone around you two follow, knowing better than to stand up to you.

"Get up loser," your boyfriend says, kicking the boy that's on the ground. One person, only one, rushes to his side. It's that girl from the bus, the one you never notice. She doesn't say anything, just helps him up and looks apologetically at him.

"Aww, look," you tease "The two dorks, both down on the ground where they belong," and you walk away, your boyfriend trailing after you, sucking up. You don't even know her name, but you know his. Jeremy Binns. Everyone knows him, he's the principle's child. You never once let him think that being Mrs. Binns's son would let him get things easily, and he seemed smart enough to keep things to himself.

You go into class, making all the boys wish you were theirs, and sit down. The bell rings as Jeremy rushes in late to class. "Get lost?" you ask him, pretending to really care. He keeps his head down and hurries to his seat as the teacher glares at him. "Mrs. Ingall," you say sweetly, keeping a smile from appearing on your lips "Didn't you say that the next person to be late would get detention?"

Mrs. Ingall looks at you. She never said that, but she can't remember. "Oh," she says slowly "Oh yes, yes I did, thank you," she turns to Jeremy "Detention Jeremy," she says as she walks passed his desk. He nods slowly, not bothering to refute her verdict, and keeps his head down. She begins teaching as the smile creeps onto your face. No one has the balls to stand up to you, and everyone goes along with you.

The day goes on, you as the queen bee, making two students' lives hell, one by ignoring, the other by abuse, both physical and verbal. You go home, feeling satisfied, but you don't know that tomorrow your life will change drastically, and it just might end.

[Toe]

Another piece of mine.

"Pain of a Girl"

How long had it been? Two months? Not even. Yet, it was long enough for her to break down time and again. She chouldn't blame it on school though. It wasn't school in and of itself, it was spending more time with the people she'd come to believe in; to let herself shine with.

She didn't get how she could allow herself to be hurt so many times. The story of her life, it seemed, was being stabbed and shot by those she held dear. She didn't know how much longer she could go on like that, crying almost every day and having to hide it. Whenever she thought she'd gained something valuable, it slipped through her grasp, and then she'd convince herself that she'd overreacted and apologize. Yet, it seemed to happen all over again, each and every time. Had she even ever had a friend that hadn't hurt her? She couldn't think of any.

She was beginning to think that there was something wrong with her, something that drove people away. Was she too clingy? Too emotional? Too sensitive? Or just too annoying? She'd gone as far as typing up suicide notes and wrapping a shoelace around her neck, or carving her name into her arm to release the endorphines. But she was convinced that her death would actually affect someone, somewhere, and she couldn't do that to them, no matter how much pain staying in the world caused her. It sounded silly when she thought about it, but there was nothing she could do about it.

In lower school, her mother had told her it would get better in high school and now, her mother talked about college. She assumed that once in college, she'd just have to wait for graduation and then work. She didn't see relief in sight though, but there was no way she could put other people through the pain of losing her. She knew that her family loved her, whether they were part of the cause or not, and her friends did care about her, to a degree. She just wasn't always certain that was enough.

And then she talked to him and she felt like she was flying. She knew that she didn't have the same effect on him as he had on her, but it didn't matter. What he did to her was enough to keep her going. That hour that they chatted was enough to brighten her days, the knowledge that he'd be online later making her chug along. The days that he didn't get online though, those were the hardest for her. The days she had no dose of hormones to keep her strong, those were the days she didn't know how she'd survive in the world.

It wasn't like they communicated in school at all, or that they could. He was above her and they both knew it. He'd even basically admitted it to her, and confirmed one of her worst fears. Social status mattered to guys, and she was about as low as one could get.

There were times when she thought back to a book she'd read "Thirteen Reasons Why..." about a girl who committed suicide but left seven audio cassettes in circulation, meant to be mailed on to the next recipient on the list when someone finished with them. The thirteen people that had had the biggest effect of her, twelve people who had the biggest part in her untimely end and one that was the sunshine of her day.

A tear slipped down her cheek as she listened to her Itunes and the sound of the keys as her fingers pressed them, almost rythmically. She chatted with her so called "friends" and looked at his name on the bottom of her screen, sighing. Just looking at his name sent a rush of estrogene pulsing through her, as if she actually had a chance with him, but she kept trying to convince herself that he wanted to talk to her too, and that in order to prove that, he had to message her first. She rarely held out long, it depended on the day. Today was one of those days. She clicked on his name.

Those two hours were the highlight of her days, and every minute that they had nothing to talk about felt horrible. By the time he had to log off, she was laughing and smiling again, the tears had dried up and she could barely remember why she'd been upset that time.

[Toe]

Everytime I see his name
Pop up on my friends list
My entire face lights up
Like a christmas decoration

My eyes widen and sparkle
My lips curl into a smile
My hands begin to itch
Because I want to talk to him
So badly, that it hurts

And when he says
Those three words
"I gotta go"
My heart throbs in my chest
And I wanna tell him
That I wish he'd stay


But I can't and I know it
So I just say my goodbyes
And play it cool
But inside, and out,
I wanna scream to the world
"I love you."